I Like Turtles

Bloggers are too fucking weird. Check out pizzapower for proof. Although, to be fair, I did get inspiration for my next manicure.

Love You. Mean It.

Back from vacation. How was it, you ask? Well... it went a little something like this:

Sunshine. Sunburn. Swollen ankle. Rain rain. Monopoly. Sharpie tattoos. Dreadlocks. Hot tub jumping. Sore throat. Fever. Swine flu? Eastbound and Down. Cough drops. Art show. Wine Tour. Downpour. Private party. Underbutt. Hangover.

So now I'm back at work, and the weather is the nicest it's been for the entire week I had off. To show my disdain for my return to the grind, I will be reading My Cardboard Life for the rest of the day. Damn the man. Save the empire.

If You Jump On the Bed You Will Go to Hell

Started reading YU+ME: dream, a surreal lesbian webcomic yesterday because I was bored and too hungover to work. I'm continuing reading it today, because it is AWESOME and the protagonist's conscience speaks in ebonics.

Sabrina. You Was Dancing at the Bar

A few things are on my mind today, not the least of which is this eloquent post to the craigslist missed connections section:

"Sabrina. you was dancing at the bar

Hi
I think you name is Sabrina you are Blonde wearing a bikini black & white i guess.not sure enougth about you name
you was dancing last Friday night at the bar I think you have 18 or 19 year old great body & A.... you know where you was dancing
i really love talk to you
I hear thinks about you..I would love to experiment with you"

Boy, would I want to be the lucky lady who that is intended for. I wonder what kind of experiments Sabrina(?) has in store.

Also, E-dogg and her hopefully sucessful delivery of T-dogg.

And Alice Qin's blag, Through the Looking Glass. Fuck It Manifesto. Brilliant.

CCL

Can't. Stop. Reading. Cute with Chris.

Might have to submit some pictures of my cat complete with an anecdotal analysis of his emotional problems. Might also have to describe in detail a few of my varied "Kate Desperately Struggles to Rescue Kittens" dreams to further demonstrate my deep rooted CCLishness.

Comic from XKCD, obvi.

Stares Into Space Like a Dead China Doll

Oh. Em. Gee.

















J. David McKenney

The site comes off as a little bubblegum but the blag is fabuloso. And there's effing paper dolls. Me gustaria.

Smoke Free's the Way to Be

The hard cast is off and I've gotten a good look at both incisions. Analysis: gross. Also, I haven't had a cigarette in almost two weeks, and it sucks ass.

You'd think with all the couch time I'm putting in (I am as of yet not allowed to return to work) I'd be doing a lot of bliggety blagging. Not so, apparently. I have instead: read Cosmo cover to cover (and also two editions of Martha Stewart Living because it was within arms' reach), clicked through the entire back story of Questionable Content, taken approximately 50 percocets (percocet? percoci?), and started half-assedly watching General Hospital again, among other things. This morning I finally watched all the Kirsten Lepore animations that I've watched sound free at work WITH SOUND as intended. Love it. Love her. Certainly my new imaginary BFF.

I'll try from now on to keep any and all appraised of my exciting view from the couch. Be warned: it may only include rants about various daytime television shows and my insights into each episode of E! News' Daily Ten.

Kindred

Somehow I missed the memo that Basement Clothes and Your Hollow Face is back. Sometime in late December I stopped checking the site because I started to feel a little stalkeresque. Turns out she's been back blagging since January. I've missed so much! It's like thinking an acquaintance moved away only to discover she's been back for a few months and is living around the corner from you, and while you frequent the same coffee shop, you keep missing each other because one time you stopped to tie your shoe and another time you grabbed your Jamaican Me Crazy and headed out the side door as she came in the front.

Anyvay, she's back and I dig it. I think we should be besties, even if she does like these shoes and I think they're uggers.

I am Ophelia

I'm with Geri. Julia Fuller-Batten is kick ass and angsty. And we all know I love me a little angst.

Cat Lady

Meow. Because I support kitties and lovely living spaces.

Flux Capacitor

I am quite perplexed as to why that last post showed up as "Tuesday, January 6, 2009" when in fact it is Friday, January 9, 2009. Strange days indeed. Oh well. All perplexities should be taken with a bit of whimsy, thus I will use this opportunity to introduce my new favorite imaginary friend: glass_orthodoxy. I shlub your creepy, wonderland-y, Science of Sleep-y art.

The Real Kate

You're probably saying, "Kate! You're so awesome, and I wish I knew more about you!"

Well, you're in luck, friend. There's nothing I do better than talk about myself. Here are a few fun facts about yours truly:

Likes: kitties, ugly boots (not to be confused with Ugg boots), redheads (but shhh, it's a secret), teenagers who have a pop-star alter ego but choose to live life like a normal kid, your mom.

Dislikes: college students, Tyra Banks, Red Bull, Jager, Jager Bombs, Dora the Explorer, X-Box, "cleverly" spelling things with a "z" instead of an "s" or a "k" instead of a "c", people who frequently update their facebook status.

Eyes: blue

Imaginary Friends:
XKCD
Natalie Dee
Toothpaste for Dinner
Go Fug Yourself
Found Magazine
Threadless
The Supermelon

Strongly Held Beliefs: Girls who make kissy faces are whores, Tom Hanks is a god amongst men, and Sarah Jessica Parker has a horseface.

Snood Use Bonus

Every few days or so it seems that I discover (or rediscover) something that I become so passionately absorbed in that it makes me almost manic. I find myself bordering on anxiety as I rush to share it with everyone I know as if it were my own. I want to blow it up to poster size, tape it to the wall, and just stare at it while I sip red wine.

This is how I felt when I stumbled upon Masha D'Yans, whose paintings I want to live in (and now thanks to a throw from Urban Outfitters, I can at least wrap myself in) and certainly how I feel now as I sit (wrapped in aforementioned throw) reading through one of Nigella Lawson's cookbooks as if it were a novel.

Now, I've seen Ms. Lawson's cooking show before. Food Network is, after all, my lullaby. And it was good, of course, in a British sort of way, that though I appreciate, I can never truly adhere to. But then while compulsively perusing the Food Network website (which I do daily) I came across her recipe for boiled egg on toast. The directions were simple: Boil an egg. Eat it on toast. Yet somehow Nigella stretched this out into an eloquent 500 or so words, all of which were perfectly placed and completely necessary.

I immediately added one of her cookbooks to my list of birthday demands. Success! Lucifer (Mom) actually listened to me for once. Thus, I resigned to the couch, to see if the print would measure up.

I suppose it's needless to say that it did. The book is pink hardcover (Luci bought it sans-cover from Amazon for a whopping $3) which made it all the more appealing. Pink things tend to make me happy. I am an avid supporter of pink foods (ice cream and cupcakes specifically) and so I was immediately set up for a fantastic culinary read.

To say I'm a food critic is both absurdly silly and completely understated. I have a passion for food (much as I have one for fashion) that can hardly be met on the budget I keep. So I indulge myself by watching vast amounts of Food and Fashion television, while wearing my brother's old hoodies and eating Taco Bell. I've learned to appreciate the "simple" things (read: "trashy") alongside that which is truly noteworthy.

Thus, I highly recommend Nigella's book, simply from a literary standpoint, as I have never made any of her dishes. And, keep in mind that my opinion is flawless, therefore my recommendations are gold. So read it, dicks.