Sabrina. You Was Dancing at the Bar

A few things are on my mind today, not the least of which is this eloquent post to the craigslist missed connections section:

"Sabrina. you was dancing at the bar

Hi
I think you name is Sabrina you are Blonde wearing a bikini black & white i guess.not sure enougth about you name
you was dancing last Friday night at the bar I think you have 18 or 19 year old great body & A.... you know where you was dancing
i really love talk to you
I hear thinks about you..I would love to experiment with you"

Boy, would I want to be the lucky lady who that is intended for. I wonder what kind of experiments Sabrina(?) has in store.

Also, E-dogg and her hopefully sucessful delivery of T-dogg.

And Alice Qin's blag, Through the Looking Glass. Fuck It Manifesto. Brilliant.

Boyfriend for Adoption

Spelling and grammar errors aside, this made my morning. I found it, of course, on Craigslist.


"The dog must go, I have a Boyfriend for adoption OR FOR RENT TO OWN, currently don't have the time, patcience or money to support and take care of any longer. About 6 ft, hazel eyes, has a little extra fluff but not bad at all, just from the extra feedings and cooking. With regular walks he could be in tip top shape in no time.

PROS:
1. Not bad in the sack but foreplay and all that lovey dovey stuff is not a must, more of a wam bam thank you mam
2. Will cook sometimes as long as it isn't complicated
3. Will vaccum, but thats about it
4. Likes pets for the most part until they need something like food, or vaccinations and what not
5. Easy to feed, will eat just about anything, even if its been sitting in the fridge for a bit
6. Potty trained for the most part, most of the time he sits down to pee, so there is usually no toilet seat to put down
7. and of course easily amused

CONS:

1. Does not hold a job very well- though will be going back to work very soon for the summer, and then collecting unemployment for the winter
2. Is not for the hole cuddling thing that often
3. there is absolutely no licking, biting/nibbling, or any foreplay unless it has to do with him, they will take a bj in a split second
4 Must have a sack of weed at all times- either that or he becomes aggressive and lashes out
5. Can sometimes drink alot, but has more or so smoking the green lately instead
6. Thinks hes the brightest crayon in the box
7. not a very good liar
8. Doesn't pick up after him self for the most part
9. Does not clean up after his dog, when it messes in the house, usually just leaves it there
10. Needs to shower more often
11. leaves sculptures in toilet, and completly forgets to flush
12. some times pees in the bathroom sink, occasionally the kitchen sink

I would love (not to keep it) but I found a new one, who keeps a job, completly gorgous, rocken body, and the best dick a girl could ever want!
If any one would like anymore information, please email
There is a small adoption fee of $100 though this is , not even close to what I put into him/ it/ this dwelling butt monkey of a turd and a hard place
I have another option in which you could rent them for A$25 bucks a week until hes paid off.
Am open to trades, suppose, dog toys or cat toys would do"


I did not reply to the offer, as I can find my own butt monkey of turds without advertisement. I am considering taking out my own Craigslist ad for a certain missing neo-Coloradian who might secretly be stalking me via this blog. Katelyn- (that's right, I only associate with other Kates) call me ASAP or I'm putting your face on a milk carton.

Dare to Care

Thanks again, Craigslist, for warming this cold heart.

The ad was for the couch, not the Care Bears. They were just added for effect.

Love Nests and Napkin Rings

Actual ad on craigslist:

2 Bedroom Fully Furnished Townhouse for rent. Looking for 7 people to pay 250/month each for their choice of 1 day at townhouse. Fully furnished with all the amenities of home. Beautifully decorated. Great place to take your afternoon love affair. This is not a joke. I have a townhouse that I am looking to rent and I remember what it was like looking for a discreet place to get away. Serious inquiries only.

Definitely fits into the category of things that make ya go "WTF?" A few of my many concerns include:

1. Is said townhouse available for the night, or only for lunch break quickies with your wife's sister?

2. Is the owner going to participate in his or her own afternoon love affair? Or is he acting simply as a silent sexual philanthropist?

3. Who is going to wash the sheets?

I'll investigate no further. My inquiries are not serious.


On a completely unrelated topic, I am totally jonesing for a Dries Van Noten's bangle necklace.


But alas, I am a broke as a joke recent college grad and my entire wardrobe is Target couture. There is no fucking chance I'll ever have one. I think I'll make my own out of napkin rings.