Snappish

I am troubled.

I had a perfectly lovely morning perusing Urban Outfitters and daydreaming about all the the knitware that I've got a fashion hard on for. There's this Aretha inauguration-esque beret that I sorta want to wear indoors:

and there's this slouchy hobo bag that I might forgo my new apartment for and move into:













and last but certainly not least is what I've immediately come to the conclusion was knitting's gift to me specifically:


Yep. It's a scarf. With a hood. And pockets. I want one in every color, and to possibly continue wearing a different color a day all the way through the summer with my sundresses and sandals.





I was pleased and a little glossy-eyed, and even considering wearing them all together in a riot of knitware and even though that's a total fashion no-no, and then I stumbled upon this:
I was immediately intrigued, as I am one pale mother fucker, and those are certainly some very pale and sheer looking tights. Well played, Urban Outfitters, I'm thinking... until:
Really? A backseam on perhaps the most perfectly realistic looking tights I've ever seen? Why? Why would you do this? I was even singing the praises of the toe situation and then you purposely go and make it look like the wearer is baring the scars of some full-leg bionic transplant? I mean, that might be kinda cool... but you don't really wanna walk around with a sign on the back of your calves advertising it, right? Am I right?



My confusion and despair only continued:











I give up.