Monday, June 29, 2009

Seriously, Seriously.

PB's Let's-Crush-Kate's-Ego quote came early this week.

PB: You look like Grey. From Grey's Anatomy.

Kate: I've heard. Is it cuz I'm always whining and disheveled looking?

PB: Yup. I think that's a good conclusion.

Awesome. I get by with a little help from my friends.

Friday, June 26, 2009

Erase Yourself and You'll Be Free

Top Ten Things I'm so not totally all about right now:

1. 3 hour long high school graduation ceremonies. Twenty minutes into the guest speaker's address (and an hour an a half into the program) I shouldn't have to turn to the guy next to me and say, "What the fuck is this asshole talking about?".

2. My home computer shitting the bed. So what if I got you for my own high graduation and have done nothing at all to maintain you and am constantly downloading garbage and visiting insecure sites? You should love me unconditionally. Upload my pictures, dammit!

3. That bitch, Danielle on the real housewives of New Jersey. Wea wea wea. Get some more Botox.

4. The rest of those bitches on the real housewives of New Jersey. If I hear the words "bubbies" or "the book" one more time, I'm going to slit my wrists.

5. The gray-ass fucking sky right now. I want to go play outside and it's threatening to rain on my parade, literally. Get some Zoloft, Mother Nature. I've got some Kan Jamming to do.

6. Lovely isn't it?

7. The City School District laying off 200 teachers. Fuck you, you fucking fuckers.

8. Noserings that cause that perpetual booger feeling. I suppose I could just take it out, but it's sooooo pretty.

9. The Facebook status updates about Michael Jackson. None of you knew him personally. I hate child molesters, that song from Free Willy and all of you.

10. Tyra Banks. Always and forever.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Make a Little Birdhouse in Your Soul

Top Ten Things I am so totally all about right now:

1. My new pseudo-nephew, T-dogg. Happy day one, baby boy!

2. Urban Fairies. This needs to happen in my home, office, and perhaps even car.

3. Wristcutters: A Love Story. The lighter side of suicide.

4. Green Porno. "I am the praying mantis..."

5. SUNDANCE Channel On Demand. Can ya tell from numbers 3 and 4?

6. Buying presents for the newly graduated. Each congratulatory card will be accompanied by an application to McDonald's.

7. Tube socks from Sugar and Bruno. They look so nice under my moonboot. Lacey Mae's skeleton feet are so delightfully ironic.

8. Conor Oberst. I thought I got over that whole Bright Eyes phase in High School, but alas, I've been rocking out to "I Don't Wanna Die (In the Hospital)" all week in my sweet sweet Ford Escort.

9. PB's dangerbike. Because one broken ankle a summer just isn't enough.

10. The sparkle couch that has found a home on my front porch. It's tragically floral, and soon to be covered in cigarette burns.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Sabrina. You Was Dancing at the Bar

A few things are on my mind today, not the least of which is this eloquent post to the craigslist missed connections section:

"Sabrina. you was dancing at the bar

I think you name is Sabrina you are Blonde wearing a bikini black & white i guess.not sure enougth about you name
you was dancing last Friday night at the bar I think you have 18 or 19 year old great body & A.... you know where you was dancing
i really love talk to you
I hear thinks about you..I would love to experiment with you"

Boy, would I want to be the lucky lady who that is intended for. I wonder what kind of experiments Sabrina(?) has in store.

Also, E-dogg and her hopefully sucessful delivery of T-dogg.

And Alice Qin's blag, Through the Looking Glass. Fuck It Manifesto. Brilliant.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

N00bs Who Can't Move Gud

Sent at 2:36 PM on Tuesday:

Charlemagne: I have had too much to drink for 2:30

Sent at 2:38 PM on Tuesday

Charlemagne: RESPOND!

Kate: Jesus. Relax. I was down the hall.

Charlemagne: This much drunk is a bad idea when I have an early plane to catch.

Kate: Stop lying about being in Ireland. None of us believe you.

Charlemagne: Where the fuck do you think I am? Didn't you see the pictures?

Kate: They're all of the inside of your hotel room.

Charlemagne: AND the construction work outside my hotel room.

Kate: You're prolly in like, upstate NY

Charlemagne: Fuck you! I'm in Dublin!

Kate: Yeah? What time is it there?

Charlemagne: LAL IDK I'm too wAsTeD!!!!1

Kate: I'm going to blag that you just typed that. Embarassing.

Charlemagne: Don't give a FUCK! Ya know how they have those signs for hotel room doors? Like "Do Not Disturb" and "Please Service"?

Kate: Yep.

Charlemagne: There's one here that says "Fire"

Kate: What the fuck? Like you put it out if the room is on fire? Or set the room on fire and put it out before you leave?

Charlemagne: I don't know. I'm tempted to put it on the neighbor's door and see what happens.

Kate: DO IT! Immediately. And report back.

Charlemagne: Oh there's directions on the back!

Kate: And?

Charlemagne: It's for n00bs who can't move gud and get stuck in the room when there's a fire and need help.

Kate: I can't believe you just typed that.

Charlemagne: So if you can't move gud, you put it on the door all the time.

Kate: I'm blagging you typed that too.

Friday, June 19, 2009

The Silver Saxophones Say I Should Refuse You

But Honey, I want you.

I want you.

I want you so bad.

Thursday, June 18, 2009


Can't. Stop. Reading. Cute with Chris.

Might have to submit some pictures of my cat complete with an anecdotal analysis of his emotional problems. Might also have to describe in detail a few of my varied "Kate Desperately Struggles to Rescue Kittens" dreams to further demonstrate my deep rooted CCLishness.

Comic from XKCD, obvi.

Friday, June 12, 2009

Stares Into Space Like a Dead China Doll

Oh. Em. Gee.

J. David McKenney

The site comes off as a little bubblegum but the blag is fabuloso. And there's effing paper dolls. Me gustaria.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

There's a Little Hippie in All of Us

Gimme this.

Summer, as always has set free the sundress wearing, bead adorned, flower child that I've been smothering with scarves and hoodies all winter. Although this year the scarves are still lingering, thanks to Roommate's growing collection of summer scarves that she insists on wearing with her penguin pajama shorts, while going for a run, probably to bed and maybe even shower. She's got a problem. Seriously.

I personally want to cover myself with copper (seen here from Vagabond Jewelry. mmm. so inspired.) and peacock feathers. I want to weave them into my hair and the collars of all my shirts. OK. Maybe I have a problem too.

Alright, we both do. We've been spending so much time on the porch lately secretly watching our cute, artsy, elderly neighbors that we convinced ourselves that they totally wanted to adopt us. Roommate actually forced an invite into their house last night to look at the wife's art while I chatted up the husband about locally made guitars and mandolins. We learned that they already have two successful artist daughters, so I'm guessing they don't want any more, but Roommate is persistent, so I wouldn't be surprised if she got us invited back for homemade dandelion wine and stories of their days following Dylan and protesting Nam. And I'm totally OK with that.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

This Song Explains Why I'm Leaving Home to Become a Stewardess

Well formulated, coherent thoughts escape me lately. It's like the metal in my leg is fucking with my brain frequencies like it does with the reception on my neighbor's TV. But I would like it to be known that I don't understand Chloe Sevigny. I like her, I think. I just don't have the hard on for her that every twenty-something fashionista blogger whose site I frequent seem to have. I mean, sure she can act, but she's horsey looking, and most of the time she dresses like a complete wackadoo. And i don't know how to pronounce her last name. Sigh. That is all.

I now return to my search for swimwear that is well accessorized by the knee high velcro moonboot my doctor is insistent on me wearing. FML.