Top Ten Things I'm so not totally all about right now:
1. 3 hour long high school graduation ceremonies. Twenty minutes into the guest speaker's address (and an hour an a half into the program) I shouldn't have to turn to the guy next to me and say, "What the fuck is this asshole talking about?".
2. My home computer shitting the bed. So what if I got you for my own high graduation and have done nothing at all to maintain you and am constantly downloading garbage and visiting insecure sites? You should love me unconditionally. Upload my pictures, dammit!
3. That bitch, Danielle on the real housewives of New Jersey. Wea wea wea. Get some more Botox.
4. The rest of those bitches on the real housewives of New Jersey. If I hear the words "bubbies" or "the book" one more time, I'm going to slit my wrists.
5. The gray-ass fucking sky right now. I want to go play outside and it's threatening to rain on my parade, literally. Get some Zoloft, Mother Nature. I've got some Kan Jamming to do.
6. Lovely isn't it?
7. The City School District laying off 200 teachers. Fuck you, you fucking fuckers.
8. Noserings that cause that perpetual booger feeling. I suppose I could just take it out, but it's sooooo pretty.
9. The Facebook status updates about Michael Jackson. None of you knew him personally. I hate child molesters, that song from Free Willy and all of you.
10. Tyra Banks. Always and forever.