Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Douchelight: An Update

Monday morning I received a phone call on my work phone from Bubba, the GBF. The conversation went something like this:

Bubba: Hey ugly.

Kate: You need to stop starting our conversations like that.

Bubba: You keep saying that.

Kate: Because its true. What's up?

Bubba: I'm pretty sure I want to be a vampire.

Kate: Holy fuck, Bubba, don't tell me you read that bullshit excuse for a novel too.

Bubba: Nope.

Kate: Thank Christ.

Bubba: I saw the movie. And you're going to too.

Kate: Please don't make me do that.

Bubba: Sorry, lady. It's Monday night, and you are committed to hang out with me. And I want to watch Twilight again.

Kate: I refuse.

Bubba: Oh, shut up. You can blog about it, and I'll feed you lots of wine.

Kate: Fine.

Thus, I spent Monday evening with Bubba at our friend Messica's studio apartment watching Twilight with her semi-retarded cat, Jack Bauer. Now, I have previously made my feelings about the Twilight phenomenon quite clear. Those books are complete and utter garbage and may contribute to the downfall of society. Stephanie Meyer should be embarrassed and little girls who have read that trash should be forced to read The Bell Jar and Catcher in the Rye until all traces of it have been erased from their memories.

That being said, I must admit that the movie was not terrible. That is not to say that it was good, but it did not make me want to stick red hot pokers in my eyes. The film came across darker than the book, which was certainly an improvement as, hello, it's about vampires. I did not loathe the heroine like I did in the book, but this is primarily because I like Kristen Stewart. She always looks disheveled and miserable. It's great. And part of me is surprised that they didn't go after Jenna Malone for the role. God, she's awful. Absolutely terrible. Ugh. I can't stand to even look at her. I feel like this role would have fit perfectly with her long resume of playing the same character over and over and over and over...

What was I talking about? Oh. Twilight. Yeah, book sucks, movie was tolerable. Damn, now I can't stop thinking about my hatred for Jenna Malone. It's gonna be a long day.

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