Things that need to be brought to my attention prior to five minutes before it's too late:
Free Denny's Grand Slams
Thanks to my brother, Charlemagne, for sending me the text, "free grand slams at Dennys for seven more minutes." Had this been posted under the Free section of Craigslist, I would be a much happier camper right now.
Instead, I am experimenting with the best way to eat chips without getting my fingers all greasy. So far it's a toss up between a spoon and drinking them out of a cup. Man, do I look AWESOME.