Tuesday, July 7, 2009

That's What She Said

Because I'm nice (and self absorbed) I'm providing ya'll with a Kate-to-English Dictionary for those of you who can't figure out what the fuck I'm talking about.

FML: Fuck My Life. Not my coinage, of course, but so effective in so many situations.

GBF: Gay Best Friend. The counterpart to the Fag Hag.

Ginger: A person of the redheaded persuasion. Although they have no souls, I find myself secretly attracted to them.

HS BF: High School Boyfriend.

QB: Quasi-Boyfriend. Fuck Buddy. Friend with Benefits. Slampiece.

SML: StepMom Lady.

Tater: A female of the chunky persuasion. Usually one with a pretty face, who just needs to lose a few. Dudes usually put them in the friend zone and torture the shit of them.

The cast of characters:

Bubba: My delightfully witty and energetic GBF. He's cute as a button.

Charlemagne: My too smart for his own good younger brother. We frequently have enlightening conversations during the work day about such subjects as taters, gingers, and n00bs who can't move gud.

Lucifer: My mother. Also referred to as "Rosette."

Katelyn Durden: My best friend and soulmate who ran away to join the circus.

Paws: My father. He is an animal behavior specialist.

PB: My dangerbike riding, story telling friend. He's also a master at crushing my self esteem.

Roommate: Some chick that I live with. Her name is Kate too.

SML: My step-mother. She's a cheating whore.

Tank: My littlest brother. Not sure if I've shared any of the gems from his life yet, but I will. He's one in a million, and when he grows up, he wants to be a bunny.

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